Paper

It's been months since i've last posted a blog post. Well, many things happened and many of the times i've got the urge to blog about it but in the end i've decided not to. Perhaps because they are all pretty emotional.

Well it's the examinations period now for Nanyang Polytechnic and yes, as usual I am studying really hard for the papers. Or should i say, i feel really stressed up these days. Well through the 19 years of my life, i've learnt many things. The happiness, joy and good things about living as well as the bad things about being alive.

Well in Singapore, one of the things i've realised is that we will really 'die-off' slowly if we do not have 'papers'.  I mean literally paper.

Let us take a walk down the route of life.

When our mothers are pregnant, most likely she'll find something amissed when she missed her period. Perhaps 95% of them would purchase the pregnancy test kits to test if the results were 'positive' or 'negative', and well, these kits are made of plastic on the exterior and litmus paper as the interior where the urine is to be drawn onto for the test. ( if my science teacher taught me the correct stuffs ) .

When our mothers are indeed pregnant, she'll be brought over to the hospital for thorough check up and all these costs money, and money is another form of paper. Others may say, what if we pay by credit card or by cpf, well all the transactions comes with a final invoice and they are all made of paper. All these checkups throughout the 9 months cost a bomb. Imagine if our  parents have not money, what would've happened. Poor them.

When we were born, the moment we come out of our mothers, our parents will go over to the counter and get the documents ready to apply for our citizenship and retrieve our birth certificate. Imagine if our parents didn't register us into the system, we will have no identity, we will have nothing to prove that we are part of Singapore. However with this piece of paper that seems so worthless, we were identified as Singaporean in no time.

When we go into the kindergarten, our parents 'fight' for places to get us into the best childcare in Singapore or perhaps the best in the neighborhood. When registering, if our parents do not bring our birth certificate, no registration could be done, this is the power of that paper that seems so worthless.

During our period in kindergarten, majority of the parents would force their child to take up talent program, eg : swimming, singing, piano, etc. Reason being so that their child could stand out from the rest. After all these program, all the hard work the child put into learning the talent no matter how much he hates it, he'll just get one piece of paper to 'prove' that he have passed the test and with this piece of paper that seem so worthless their parents could show it off to their friends and gain themselves more 'face' and its something for them to be proud of. So much for a piece of certificate.

Years later, when it's time for primary school registration, parents spend days queuing outside prestigious school trying to get their child into the school. Some parents even go to the school to be parent volunteers years before their child turn 7 in order to secure a place for their child but failed to do so. Some parents even tried to use the power of paper ( money ) to try to gain 'back door entry' for their child. Well, should i say from what i heard, some succeeded with the power of paper. Well, majority don't but paper still made some wonders there.

Upper Primary, this is the time when the child face tons of stress, facing assessment books and exam papers every single day. And by facing all these paper products, and doing them, their main objective is to get the very last piece of paper which is the PSLE certificate for them to be able to proceed to secondary school life.

When they got into secondary school, the same thing goes again, facing assessment books and exams, and the ultimate goal is just for that bloody piece of o level / n level certificate to get them to the next level of education.

All these goes in a cycle and keeps repeating itself as long as the student stays in school.

At the end of the day, all they need to get is a certificate stating the he/she has this level of education.

This is the time when different pieces of papers meant different things, when you work hard and get better grades, you'll get a better piece of paper, this piece of paper brings you to the best few companies in the world, and as everyone knows,  this piece of paper brings you the ultimate piece of paper that you've all along been working for and this is MONEY.

Well, many says that certificate is the gauge of the amount of money you'll have when you grow old, many say that people with no 'paper' will have no luxury of having the ultimate paper in their hands. Well, it personally i feel it's not true.

Look at all the successful people in the world, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, they are all dropouts and they hate studying. Ahh well, at this time, some will tell me they belong to the other era. Alright, well perhaps it's true.

But sometimes looking at people around me mugging their brains out of their heads and their fingers off their palms, i would like to ask, are all these worth it ? Just for a piece of bloody useless paper ?

Well as for me, i'm studying very hard to get my diploma and in the future a degree not because i believe in the saying that 'study hard then will learn a lot of money' , but i treat studying and getting the degree a form of respect to my parents. I mean they fed me till i'm so round and fat, i believe they would really hope to see me get that final piece of paper and using that to get more papers like MONEY, HOUSE (the paper shows the house is  yours), and even nowadays the super expensive COE.

I personally feel that education certificate is not a key to earning the 'ultimate paper' MONEY. Reason being, there are so many people that are industry nowadays, really successful but they aren't really educated.

Humans should know that mugging and studying like crazy to get a worthless piece of certificate is not as important to humans having experience and lifeskills. If one doesn't have lifeskills and experience, he will fail in life no matter how many certificates they have in life. EQ is = to IQ, we humans need to know that.

So in conclusion, life isn't about mugging/working yourself away to get the certificates ( worthless piece of paper ) to get the ultimate paper ( the money ), but it's about how you'll be able to get the money happily and smartly without having to kill all your braincells.

Yes, life is about paper, but only one kind of paper , and it's MONEY.

Well, don't judge me too fast, I'm not saying that money is everything, but hey, let's be logical, if you have money and you'll sad, you'll be able to get something with the money to cheer yourself up. But if you don't you'll just feel lousy and you'll forever be worrying about when's the next meal.

So people, be smart. Earn money in a smart way. Don't do the nerd style, it's not gonna work out. Trust me.

Greed.

Greed is a bad thing. 

When you do things out of greed most of the time it will go wrong. 

Even when the offer seems too good to be true, you chose to pick it up and continue on with it.

You end up facing serious consequences. 

Losing money, losing a good friend or losing your family for greed. 

When it comes to greed, everything that's associated to it seems to be negative. 

But strangely even when everyone knows the negative consequences of being greedy, they still continue on being greedy and do things just for greed. 

There are various forms of greed. For money, for affection, for love, for attention, for fame, for food, for almost everything that is measurable by quantity. 

Siblings rivalry occurs when both kids fight for the attention and affection of the mother, very often they fight for attention and affection not because theirs mummy don't give it to them, but because they want more of it. 

Relationships breakdown because one party hopes for the other to give them more care, affection, love and concern, again, not because the party didn't but because the other party wanted more of it out of greed. 

People who intend to startup a business, even when they know that the deal provided is too good to be true, yet because of wanting to MaxiMise profits and make more money, decided to take the risk of sending the money overseas and the stocks didn't appear at all. This businessperson made a huge lost, just to earn a little more. 

Men goes partying, drinking, womanizing, sleeping around, not because they don't love their wife or partners, but because they feel they needed something fresh, someone better, someone sexier, hotter, prettier to themselves, but in the end, not only will they lose their money, they are putting their relationship and marriage in a big risk. Just for more fun. 

Women go on dating with various men even when they are in a relationship with a man, not because the man is not capable enough, not because she don't find him loving enough, it's because of influence from friends and media, it's because they have the mindset that they will eventually still be able to find someone more capable and richer than their current, because they needed more affection and attention, because only by having a capable partner, they will be able to be the winner in the circle of friends she's hanging out with, 

Women become prostitutes, sugar babes and social escorts, not because they have no money for even a meal, not because they don't have the daily necessities that she should have, not because she doesn't have bags to carry her stuff to school, clothes to wear, it's because she wanted more than this, she long for her branded bags, branded apparels, branded shoes, luxurious cars and big houses. 

Celebrities wannabes goes under the knife not because he or she is not attractive enough, it's because they want to look perfect, they want to stand out from the rest, they want to fit into the crude society when people judge you based on looks, they wanted more fame. 

So all the above situations are shows that most of the time, people do things not because they really need it, but instead the do it because the want MORE of it, yes MORE, and the word that best describes all the scenarios is GREED. 

But to be honest, greed brings you nothing but a broken self. 

Siblings that fight and relationships worsen even till ten twenty years later, perfect relationship and marriage breakdown, losing yourselves and betraying your own perfect body that god gave to you, losing hard earned money just to get a little more profits, spend tons of money but yet got yourself a failed plastic surgery that you got to live with the entire rest of your life, all for GREED ? 

Yes, a moment of greed a lifetime of regret. 

It is not worth to lose so much just for a moment of greed, think before you act, learn to love live more. Life simplest pleasure ~~ 

Faith :)

It's been so long since I've posted something here.

So many things happened these few months. Exams, holidays, work. It was pretty tiring.

Experienced many different things and met many different people. Friends come and go.

A blink of an eye, I'm going on to the next chapter of life in nanyang polytechnic. Year two of marketing. Hopefully all goes well for me. Specializing in public relations, hoping to meet more interesting people and learn more about life, and survival.

This period while I was away, I lost someone so close to me. Someone who loved me with all his heart but eventually changed I guess. Someone who was once part of me. But I guess god has his plans, and he wasn't part of god's plan for me. Yes I admit, I do miss him every now and then, but he will be a reminder to myself, to cherish the people around me more . To learn to love, forgive and care. He is just one chapter of my life.

But i always believe, when god decided to shut the doors on one side, he will open another side for me.

I've also met people that were extraordinary, people who care and love me for who I really am. People who share the same traits as me, people who I know will always be with me. Well at least I really hope it will be the way I see it.

Through work, I've met many people. Young to old, rich to poor. Heard many different life stories and I realized how lucky I am. I've learnt to appreciate and cherish people that's with me and things that I have. I've learnt to love life. I also saw how important education is for us the younger generation and I see how hard parents are working in order to just send their kids to school.

Through all these, I've learnt to see the world in a larger perspective, I've learnt to open up, to love, to care, to find peace and create joy for everyone that's with me. I've learnt to live a better life. I learnt to have faith in life and towards others. I became a better person.

I've always doubted the existence of god. But let me be truthful to myself, I've prayed to god when i was at the lowest period of life, when no hope was left, when i was almost giving up, and i seeked for help thrice and he answered my prayers all three times. He made me look at my life in a different perspective. He showed me that there's still hope. He held onto me when I needed someone terribly. Some people might say that I'm deceiving myself, it's all a psychological thing, if it is so, then let it be.

The third time I prayed to god, I told him life was really tough for me and I'm breaking down, I needed someone to change my life, someone who will love me and be with me, for who I am. He answered to my prayer and sent me an angel. I met someone that totally changed my life. Someone that brought love, hope and happiness into my life. Someone who taught me to have faith in life, someone who truly loves me, someone that I've always been looking for.

And for this, I thank god.

Life is getting better, this is the best term break I've ever had the entire nineteen years of my life. It's also the time when I've decided to have faith in god. I've became happier. :)

Lies after lies

To me, you were fine. You were really nice. You were like one of the best I've ever seen. I would talk to others about you, how awesome you are and all.

However good things don't last isn't it? Day by day, as I grew up, as time passes. I saw your YouTube account, you posted stuffs that weren't really nice to me, you said it was for you to gain subscribers, to gain views, to earn extra income. I thought, okay, perhaps that's the case. You were still that really fine person in my mind.

It was only till months after that , I realized that you are often searching for such things online to view, and to share with friends of yours. To me, it's hurting and disgusting. You weren't like what I thought you were . Spoke to you and i cried and you said you'll stop, you'll change. Once again, I trust you, yes, with all my heart.

Then I chance upon your phone, I saw a pretty prominent app. It's one app that you know it's really not appropriate to have on your phone. I spoke to you about it and you claimed you downloaded it out of curiosity. I was disappointed once more. I chose to forgive and continue on like usual.

Then here comes another day I chance upon your browser history and found out what websites you were viewing, those websites that you promised me that you'll stop visiting, those promises that you've given to me, you've broken them all, all over again. I told you how disappointed I was this time round, in your face, seriously, and you asked for my forgiveness. And yes, i gave in again. Once again, I let it go. Believing that you won't break the promise again.

Then it was today, I chance upon your YouTube subscriber history again. You subscribed to some really really disgusting channels. It shows clearly that what you promised to me were just to coax me.

This time around, what are you going to tell me again?? I really wonder.

Lies after lies, broken promises . One after another. How much more can I trust you? If watching all these is really part of you, you're hooked to it, you don't watch it you will die, then don't give me stupid things like you will stop. Why leave me with empty promises. Why promise me when you know you're gonna break it?

Why hurt me when you are the closest to me?? Why lie?? You know how much it breaks my heart ?

It's heart wrenching, it's heartbreaking, it's disappointing, it's everything. Talking to you over this and crying over it doesn't seem to help anymore right??

Why do you lie? You're making me hate you, which I really don't want to. But why do you do things like that, why do you choose to hurt me?

I know haters are gonna feel happy after this post, they might be laughing their hearts out, but I really don't care. It's been so long since I posted something that's really close to my heart. I just need to write this down somewhere.

It's 2am now, I'm coughing like mad, with fever of 38 degrees, but yet I've got so much in my mind.

Perhaps I should stop caring.

I can't stop my tears from flowing now. :(

I want the best out of you, you mean everything to me.